I think one thing that everyone can easily agree upon is that indigestion/diarrhea is never a pleasant experience. And those little packets of rehydration salts that the doctors prescribe doesn’t make it any better.
The salts prescribed to me came in two flavours - natural and orange - and I suppose the nurse thought she was doing me a favour when she gave me the orange flavoured one. For one, it doesn’t even taste remotely like orange; a better term to describe it would be “dishwater”. The only good that came out of drinking it was that my lost appetite came back tenfold. Which meant intense, inexplicable cravings.
This morning, eager for something different from plain porridge and mistakenly thinking that I was well enough to handle it, I sneaked a tiny bite of bakkwa (pork jerky) and ended up convulsing on the bathroom floor puking my guts out like I did yesterday.
They say when you’re on your death throes, your entire life flashes in front of you. Not for me though; all I could think of were those dreaded salts (which did not taste better on their way out than on their way in), and in a moment of clarity, I saw the perfect solution to my indigestion-driven woes.
I hereby propose:
- Bakkwa-flavoured salts
- Pineapple tart-flavoured salts
- Chocolate brownie-flavoured salts
- Pancake-flavoured salts
that will definitely make the whole indigestion thing a much more exciting and memorable experience for all.
Then and again, maybe it’s just the cravings talking.
